Any of you that know me, will know that I don’t enjoy gardening. However, I do enjoy gardens (and I love wildlife and nature for that matter). This is an important distinction that I hadn’t quite appreciated during the early years of my marriage.
For many years, I worked alongside my gardening-loving husband in clearing weeds, digging beds, planting seeds, mulching branches and other gardening tasks. I did it in part to spend quality time with my husband and also because I do enjoy learning and growing new skills. Over time, however, I continued to do gardening mainly because I felt guilty not helping out in what I considered to be a chore. Honestly, I see mowing the lawn as the outdoor equivalent of vacuuming the house. I’d rather not do either!
One day, while my husband and I were digging yet another bed for yet more vegetables, it dawned on me that my husband was enjoying himself. I, on the other hand, was gritting my teeth and pushing through what I considered to be an odious task. It also occurred to me that if I already undertook the majority of the household chores then why did I feel the need to help in the garden chores, particularly while my husband saw them as a much more enjoyable hobby?
This thinking led to a conversation with my husband that essentially saw me lay down the gardening tools. Don’t get me wrong, I still occasionally help with weeding or mulching branches or picking fruit but, while I do the lion’s share of the housework and take no pleasure in gardening, my husband and I have happily agreed that I can leave much of the gardening work to him going forward.
This gardening experience highlights for me the importance of recognising that we are all unique and we all have different personalities, talents, hobbies and values. Understanding these elements about ourselves and others in our lives can be key to gaining greater clarity, confidence and contentment in life and in our relationships. As a life coach, I can help you do just that.
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