Did you know that every snowflake is unique, much like our fingerprints?
In a commercial world designed to encourage comparison and competition, I think it’s helpful to remind ourselves of this little nugget of truth from nature now and then. After all, it can be tempting to hide our differences in a bid to fit in, rather than allow ourselves to stand out and make our own specific, valuable contribution to this world through our uniqueness.
For many years, I believed being extroverted was better or at least more acceptable somehow than being introverted. I shunned my quieter, more sensitive side in favour of my more sociable, jokey character, in the hopes of being more popular and avoiding rejection. Ironically, as I shunned my introverted parts, I became drawn to the more introverted people around me who seemed so much steadier and more self-assured than the mask I was living through.
Later in life, as I journeyed into greater self-discovery, it became clear that I am really an outgoing introvert. I much prefer deep conversation with a small group of people than the small talk required of a bigger gathering. What’s more, while I love time with friends and family, there will inevitably come a point where I need to find solitude and recharge my battery.
Finding this out about myself is one of many discoveries that has brought greater peace and contentment to my life. So too has allowing my more sensitive side to play a more visible part in my life, in my relationships but also through my coaching. I’d like to think I’m still chatty and jokey but I no longer inwardly rebuke myself when my introverted parts are calling for solitude and I’m feeling uncomfortable in a busy setting. Equally, I know to reach out to friends or family when I’m feeling the absence of connection and a need to verbally process something that’s come up.
Thankfully, I’ve found that accepting who I am, with all my differences, and being more prepared to show these to the world, hasn’t seen me shunned or alone as an outcast. In fact, I’ve found some relationships have deepened as a result and new relationships have grown.
Like snowflakes, we’re all beautifully different despite sharing similar human form and the same need to feel safe and loved in this world. The challenge for us all, as a naturally social species, is learning to find a sense of belonging with others without cutting parts of ourselves off to try and fit in. That’s one of the challenges that I love to help others with through coaching.
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